Let's pretend we are married

Mulla Nasrudin in the upper berth was awakened by a persistent tapping from below.

"I am terribly cold down here. I wonder if you mind getting me a blanket," said a lady's voice.

"I have a better idea," the Mulla replied sleepily. "Let's pretend we are married."

"That sounds like a lovely idea," she giggled.

"GOOD," said Nasrudin rolling over. 'NOW GO GET YOUR OWN DAMN BLANKET."

What have you to offer in return

Mulla Nasrudin was in the home of his fiancee, being given the once-over by her parents.

"Tell me young man," said his potential mother-in-law, "if my daughter marries you, and I give her a substantial dowry, what have you to offer in return?"

The Mulla smiled brightly.

"I WILL GIVE YOU A RECEIPT," he said.